Being in control

We often have many things that bother us, where we feel we have no control whatsoever - and we complain about it. Although it is a wonderfully comfortable - because non-committing - position, it is a position where we only react. And for that - at least in my view - unhealthy. 

I am currently working with a group of managers, to which becoming proactive again is a crucial topic. After years of just receiving orders and (change) decisions were made way above their heads, they are now asked to provide ideas and input. And this seems to be a challenge for this group of people. However, the intention is clear: you would like to include those affected by the change in the change. 

But surprisingly (?) it doesn't work as expected. Instead, they need help to come up with tremendous or innovative ideas. Over time, people learn to react rather than be in charge, shut down, and become unimaginative when they have been excluded from a decision-making process and have little or no autonomy or influence. 

I don't blame them for that. It's just an interesting observation. 

One of the "must-reads" is Stephen Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". The first habit is "Be proactive." Covey talks about taking responsibility for your life. People can't keep blaming everything on their parents or others (e.g., managers). Proactive people recognize they are "response-able." They don't blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior.

In preparation for the next workshop with the group mentioned above, I came across this YouTube video. Master Coach Debra Russell nicely covers the different circles of influence. Where you have no control, the circle where you have some influence, to the circle of complete control. Obviously, she makes links to coaching, but this is true for any topic - even for becoming a new manager. 

Where do you feel in control - or not? 

Happy to discuss this further.